Fighting your battles

Everyone has their own inner battles to fight. Some of them are short lived others take years. I am currently fighting my own demons and my own battles. Some of the battles I am fighting are related to health issues, yet others are inner demons.

How do we learn to fight? I believe it is something from within ourselves, but sometimes we need help. We are put on the Earth to live not simply survive, but what does that really mean? We need to learn to enjoy life even in the midst of a battle. This I have had the most trouble with lately.

I have made grave mistakes in the past and they have returned to bite me recently. I am struggling with people defining me by one or two moments in my past. Can we really judge a person by individual moments? God does not want us to judge one another to begin with, but we as humans do this repeatedly. I try not to be guilty of this, but I suppose on occasion I am. I am really having a hard time with people doing this to me right now. I did not get a job because of individual moments in my past. This has really hurt me and made me become greatly discouraged.

While these moments do not define who I am, mistakes do change us for either the good or bad, and mold who we are. I have become a stronger person because of a myriad of mistakes in my past, but my mistakes do not define me as a person. What about the positives that have also molded me as a person? Shouldn't they out weigh the bad? Why don't they?

Society as a whole define people because of mistakes, poor choices, and other negatives, and rarely do the positives out weigh them. Take any famous person who has made past mistakes, they become defined by the bad. I noticed that in a story about John Edwards the other day that the reporter reminded viewers that he had a mistress. While this was a poor choice, it had nothing to do with the current story. No one will want to hire Manny Ramirez because he used steroids. He may have really gotten clean, but he will forever be defined as a liability for his mistake. Is this fair?

Some will say that these people had the opportunity to make better choices and didn't and trusting them is not easy. So many times people repeatedly fail us that giving people a second or third chance is very scary and we choose not to do so. I can certainly understand this. Sometimes people run out of chances. John Edwards made other mistakes in his political career so much that even if he were able to run for an office he would not likely receive enough votes. Manny made many mistakes as a player that makes him a liability and hiring him would be a great risk. But what about the average person who made mistakes, or who had a string of bad luck. How can we define them by one or two moments in their lives?

God gives us repeated chances. He never gives up on us. I just wish society could be a little more forgiving and a little less critical.

Blog Day 4 Diet Day 1

By the time I finish writing this I will have blogged all of four times! Oooohhhh 4. But today is the first day of my IC diet. I have done pretty ok. I have been preparing for this for a little while and cutting back on the caffeine in hopes that I could avoid the headaches. I think it has worked. I did fine with the lack of caffeine it is the lack of sweets that is getting to me today. I really want something sweet. I did eat some vanilla ice cream, but I love my chocolate.

I had peanut butter on white bread and tortilla chips for lunch, which is pretty typical for me anyway. I made chicken with couscous and zucchini and yellow peppers for dinner. I flavored everything I could with garlic, since it is one of the few seasonings I can have. It was pretty good. No one really complained, although my sister made rice for those who wouldn't eat the couscous (more for me!).

The key to this diet will be to make sure I flavor everything really well. I am still in pain today, but my bladder will not be rid of all the triggers over night. I am going to do this until I can feel good for a few days then start adding back the not great foods and finally slowly add back the CAUTION foods. I think I can do the diet because it isn't forever, and it will help me be more conscious of the foods I eat. Maybe I won't eat as many of the caution foods together after this. One day down!

For anyone reading my blog, my friend Carl has declared the first Thursday of each month as Comment Day. Go comment on your friends blogs, or friends of friends, etc. Happy Reading!!!!

Grow up!

This is where my ranting and venting takes place. I am sick of seeing people who talk about family, but the constantly leave parts of that family out.

This is not a personal occurrence, rather something I have seen time and again. I see people posting on Facebook about family and standing by each other, etc. yet when someone in the family is struggling, they offer no assistance. I have seen one person talk constantly about her family, her best friend (who is male) and other people, but rarely mentions her husband. His grandmother was recently in the hospital and she rated NO mention, however, her male friend's business got daily posts. She used to post about snuggling her hubby everyday, now acts as though he doesn't exist. Maybe this is because they are having problems, etc. but shouldn't a prayer request be sent out for his family. I sent out a prayer request for the family and I am not even part of the family. I used to be and let me say, there are MANY reasons not to want to associate with some of the family members, but be human, pray for each other.

She is not the only one I have seen do this. I have seen 30+ year old women argue like teenagers on FB and they are sisters. I have seen multiple family members stab each other in the back and broadcast it on Facebook. GROW UP.

There was even an issue where family members did not notify another about a death in the family. REALLY!? There are a few people I would rather not communicate with, but I would not keep that kind of info from someone, no matter how I felt about them!

I do not get along with all of my family members, but that is private. I have my fair share of family issues, but if one of my family members needed me I wouldn't turn my back on them. I would do what I could to help, even if it was simply a prayer. Am I alone in feeling this way? Isn't that what family should be?

Loving you through it

I was listening to the radio today and something struck me. I was listening to "I'm Gonna Love You Through It" by Martina McBride and I got to thinking about what we're meant to be.

He said, "I know that you’re afraid and I am, too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you"

When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.

Isn't this what we should all do for each other. As Christians we are meant to be Christ-like. Isn't this His promise to us? He loves us through it. We should love each other through the difficult times in life rather than kicking each other when we are down.

So many times I see people struggling and I hear people complaining about how they are handling it. If they can improve something, shouldn't we help them? Now, I know that not all people are going to be open to change or suggestions, but isn't that when we should just be there for them? Sometimes I just need someone to dry my eyes or hold my hand and love me through it. I am lucky to have found people to do this for me, but not everyone does. Some people gloat others just laugh. Where have we gone so wrong that we cannot help each other through the hard times rather than compounding it?

God doesn't promise that everyday will be sunshine and roses, but He does promise to always be there for us. Is it so hard for us to do this for each other? You don't have to be a Christian to be a good person, nor does being a Christian make you a good person, rather loving each other through it makes you a good person. There is nothing to gain by loving someone other than love. There are no material gains, but what your heart gains is priceless. I am not perfect, and don't always follow this advice myself, but New Year's Resolutions aside, I am going to try to love others and not kick them when they are down.

God Bless,
Marie

New starts IC will not rule my life.

Starting new is not easy. God gives us the tools to renew ourselves, but we have to take the time to do it. Some things are definitely not easy, but they become necessary with each passing day.

I have interstitial cystitis. For those of you reading who are not familiar it is like a bladder infection that will not go away. The major difference is that the lining of the bladder is deteriorating causing pain and infection like symptoms. Some people may remain symptom free for long periods of time then experience a flair. Lifestyle contributes to the flair such as food, drink and smoking. I am in the midst of an awful flair. I think it was triggered by eating some of the most wonderful juicy oranges I have ever had. How can something so good for you cause so much pain? Chocolate can also be a trigger food, as well as soda (especially diet).

So what do I do now? I have to go on a diet. Not a complete lifestyle change as is necessary to lose weight, rather an actual diet. The idea is to eliminate all known trigger foods, all possible trigger foods, and eat ONLY foods that are known to be bladder friendly. This should be easy as there are a great deal of food on the okay list. The issue I am having with this is the flavoring. I love herbs and spices, fruit and sweets. Most of these items are on the CAUTION (or eat at your own risk) category. CRAP. I am dealing with how to eat these new bladder friendly foods while giving up all the things I like. I don't have to give them up permanently, just until the flair is over.

I will then be able to start adding foods back one at the time starting with the sometimes okay category and then eventually the CAUTION list. I don't want to start on the first day of the new year, because resolutions do not work. I don't wanna start on the second, because Monday's suck. So I am either going to start Tuesday or Wednesday. I have already begun somewhat cutting most all of the diet soda out of my diet. I occasionally have diet soda, but I have gone several days with none and only 2 glasses today.

I know no one will likely read this, and if you do feel free to comment. I just need to get this off my chest so that I can clear my head and start my new diet.